Never in a million years could I have seen this coming

I am shocked.  I’m not shocked that I’m pregnant. When I found out I was pregnant I was in awe, not shock (I’m 28 weeks today).  I’m shocked that I just found out my sister is 14 weeks pregnant.  The sister who NEVER NEVER NEVER wanted kids. The sister who shares the same birthday with me, but is three years older. I am shocked. OMG.  My sister is pregnant.  WHOA.  My parents are gonna become first time grandparents to two babies in the same year!  Wow.  I’m so happy for her and her husband.  They will have a fuller and richer life.  I am happy for my parents because they will have a house full of beautiful baby smiles and giggles :)  

I’m also sad.  My sister left my life when I left the religion of my upbringing two years ago.  I haven’t been able to share my joy or experience with her. Now we have even more to talk about and we are practically estranged.  I am sad that our babies won’t be able to be playmates and have the full cousin experience.

I can’t even process so much shock, happiness and bittersweet sadness.